Homeless

Being a parent makes you really emotional about current events.

A couple weeks ago, while I was at work, something came across my Facebook feed. It was a news item that our city's mayor had decided to dismantle the "tent city" where 30-40 homeless people live on my side of town. This decision came one day after an article in the newspaper about how people were helping the homeless and also during the coldest week we've had this winter, when temperatures have plummeted into the single digits.

The mayor justified the decision saying that there were plenty of places for the homeless to go and he didn't want any of them to freeze to death. So at 2:00 in the afternoon, with no advance announcement, city workers dismantled the makeshift camp and seized what property the homeless were unable to take with them.

I've never been homeless. I have, however, had friends who became homeless stay with me for short periods. The mayor and his supporters say, "The homeless can go to a shelter." This may be true, but there are very legitimate reasons why they may not want to. According to the mayor, those who don't want to go to a shelter don't want to follow the rules and just want to drink all day.

A lot of the homeless have mental health issues, problems with addiction, or a criminal history. The problem with mental illness, of course, is that those who truly suffer from it are the least likely to seek help unless they have a support system in place. Many shelters refuse to take addicts unless they are clean for a given period of time, which is easier said than done. And if one has a criminal history, well, you just do. There's no way to correct that, and even if you've served your time, some shelters won't take you.

Most shelters also take only men or women, not both. When my friend Charles became suddenly homeless, I learned about all the problems this creates.

Charles' wife went to a church-run shelter, along with their two children. Like most shelters of this sort, they had strict rules about drinking and curfews. She had a job at the time and he didn't, partly because he is an "undocumented alien." They are married and she is a a U.S. citizen, so automatic green card, right? Well, no, because it takes a lot of money to go through that process, money Charles and his wife didn't have. So now he isn't able to keep a job, which is part of the reason they were homeless.

Charles was staying with me. The thing was though, he had to pick the kids up from the shelter, which was a couple miles outside of town, so that his wife could go to work. And she, of course, had to find transportation to and from work. This wasn't so bad before they lost their home, because they lived close to her job. It was significantly more difficult once she was staying in the shelter.

So Charles would have to go get the kids and then find somewhere to spend the day with them. They stayed at my house a bit, or he took them to the library or museum. Then he'd have to arrange transportation to get them back to mom at the shelter before curfew, when they had Bible study. Charles and his family are atheists, but you surrender your freedom of conscience and religion when  you become homeless in America. In fact, you lose more rights than if you were a criminal.

Lots of homeless people, especially those without children, just opt to brave the streets. Some homeless say that the shelters are often places of physical danger from others. They feel like they lose their safety, autonomy, and dignity. Then there are all the little things. If you don't have proper identification, you can't stay at a shelter. If you can't make curfew, you can't stay there (precluding you from taking certain kinds of employment).

Listening to my coworkers, listening to the radio, it's easy to believe that the homeless are a problem rather than people. I guess it's just too easy for me to see myself in that situation for me to respond that way. Losing the van a few weeks ago made our lives really difficult. Struggling with how we are going to pay for daycare, whether the Goddess can find a job that pays enough — it's just really easy to see how normal, working people could lose their home. I can't imagine then also having to deal with addiction or serious mental illness.

I drove home after reading the news about this at work. The temperatures were in the single digits. I had to pick up the seven-year-old from gymnastics.

Completely aside, I hate the other parents at gymnastics. We signed ours up because she needs regular exercise and she loves it, or otherwise I'd never set foot in that place. They have all these chairs and couches where parents sit and watch the girls and all of them are always talking about who is going to make "the team" and who is going on "the trip" that the older kids take. I'm sure they are perfectly decent people, but something about encountering them in that setting and listening to them carry on about which girls are the best makes me want to stab them with a pencil. Also, one of them drives this big stupid Escalade and has almost run me over twice.

The seven-year-old comes off the floor and goes to the dressing room. When she comes out, she's wearing boots, a winter coat, and shorts.

"You're going to freeze," I say.

"I know," she says.

The temps have warmed up since the homeless were in the news. There have been some community meetings, but I guess I'm a bad community member, because I've chosen to spend the time with my family instead.

And working. Lots of overtime, some writing, a post-holiday gig. Anything to make a little more.

Because the thought of my family out there, in the cold, is more than my heart can take.